Today I am playing the part of...
Non-self as it relates to improv theory
This morning I hopped on an 8am video meeting as part of Lauren Hom’s weekly office hours for her Portfolio Procrastinator class. I had my camera turned off because I intended to use the hour as a live coworking situation. The only way I am motivated to bring projects (like a website redesign) to completion is by utilizing some form of live human accountability.
I languidly opened up several tabs in my browser to continue this week’s homework while Lauren cheerfully answered questions from the other students, many of them also had cameras off, a gallery of simple black squares labeled with names. I was still sleepy and my coffee hadn’t kicked in yet. I decided to wake up my brain by exploring Google Meet’s special effects buttons. I thought I’d find something appropriate for when I turned my camera on—maybe a simple blurred background, or something chill, like a virtual plant-filled greenhouse.
What I didn’t realize was that clicking one of those buttons wouldn’t just give me a preview—it would immediately turn on my camera and broadcast my live self to the group. Before I knew it, there I was, not just in the meeting, but calling in from the wild west, complete with cowboy vibes and tumbleweed energy:
Um…ok…cool.
I am a professional so instead of scrambling to click through and select a more sane-looking background (btw these calls are recorded for students who couldn’t make it to the live session. YAY!), I just decided - yes.
Today I am playing the part of horse-riding Art Business Owner living on a ranch in the orange-tinted desert.
I sheepishly wave to Lauren on camera when she clocks my presence and says “hi, Annie!” And then I come up with a question to ask and keep my camera on the rest of class.
In 2025 I am trying to incorporate more improv philosophy into my life as an antidote to overthinking and perfectionism. My intention is to take what I am given, accept it, and roll with it playfully, knowing that this is all temporary anyway. To “yes, and” a situation is to create a shared reality in community with others, to play the game and solve the problem together. It’s making me think about the Buddhist idea of “non-self” - or, no essential self or fixed self, just shifting roles and moments. Trust me when I say it is much easier than saying “no, but” and insisting things have to be my way - with my tight fisted overly prepared plan that never goes quite right anyway.
Some days I play the part of Ms. Frizzle Style College Professor when managing a classroom of eager animation students. Some days I play the part of Sloppy Grunge Singer and uke player when jamming with my studio mates. This weekend I will play the part of Artist Doing Their Best to Manage Social Anxiety During Open Studios.
All that is to say - come visit me at Helvella Gallery this Saturday, January 5th for a combination comedy show and closing exhibition for Big Cat Smol Cat:
I will be there showing off my work space with original art like angry uterus pins and tiny baby dragon sculptures available for purchase:
📣 Hypewoman Time 🙌
What’s been making me happy recently…
Finally saw The Substance in a theater last weekend and LOVED it. I never expected to be so jubilant and thrilled while being grossed out by a movie’s third act.
Corey Rosen’s workshops. I’ve taken three of Corey’s classes so far and they’re always a fun transformative experience. Currently taking improv storytelling and learning to build self trust in my own stories while also being in community with others.
Where Do We Go From Here?: Resources to Support You During Times of Ongoing Polycrisis from Lama Rod Owens. The recorded conversation at the top of the list, featuring Lama Rod, Angela Davis, and Prentis Hemphill, grounded me the day after the election—and lately, I’ve been reaching for all the grounding tools I can find.
Today I am playing the part of Woman With Perimenopausal Brain Fog Trying To Do the Best She Can Under Polycrisis. Yay!
Till next time,
Annie
P.S. If you'd like to support my art practice further you can...
💌 Become a subscriber to my newsletter:
📤 Share this with a friend who you think would enjoy it:
👩🎨 Hire me! Get in touch with me if you'd like to use Headexplodie artwork in your projects.
Thank you, you awesome human, you, for reading my newsletter ☺️!
ILYSM